Second Best

In Leap of Love, Li-Ann sincerely believed that there would be one person out there for her; the one and only; her soulmate and her destiny. In fact, she believed it so much, she wouldn't settle for any till she finds THE ONE! How courageous I must say, for her to stand so firmly in her ideals, and so perseveringly too! Then again, she must be really warped in her thinking tho', to trust that Jeremy is the one for her. C'mon, after a one night stand, then realising that the guy was about to get married, and four years later, that he has a kid?! She must be insane to cling on this tight to her so-called beliefs! But, I respect her for her unwavering mindset not to settle for 2nd best.
KS was 2nd best. She never bat an eyelid to consider him in spite of her unfruitful (or non-existent) love life. Not even after KS' ernest and persistent pursuits.
Eventually, KS, settled for his 2nd best when 1st choice Li-Anne refused to budge.
Marked respect I have for this lady. It's either the best or nothing at all.


But seriously, should we too, bear the same attitude in our lives? What about mine? Should I settle for 2nd best? or 3rd best? of 4th best? or maybe any seemingly good alternative?
CHOICES.
Very often, when we feel like time is running out, we grab and rush to the check-out counter only to realise it had been a foolish decision to have been so impulsive.
In my case, am I rushing for time? Am I in a hurry?..
...
Let me try and figure that out first.. Time to sleep for now. 'nuff mindless thoughts for the night.

11th sep 2005
0500hrs

*One final thought tho'..what if I'm like Li-Anne? Who decides if top choice is best choice? or 2nd best is second to best? DO I REALLY KNOW BETTER??

i am a writer..

I watch a lot of movies.
So much so that my thoughts are usually dramatic, mostly extreme.
i dream all the time.
Of what is to be, of what I could become..
I dream all the time, I seldom wake up.
And when I am up, i am usually in a daze.
Life passes me by like a fleeting train. Blurry and quick.

I like to watch films. I imagine my life to be a motion picture. Sometimes, viewed as one of those slo-mo flashback (complete with children laughter) scenes. I walk about with a notebook in hand, penning down my thoughts, almost as if I were a writer of some sort, rushing to finish her book, not wanting to miss that sudden brainwave of inspiration.

I should say I am very blest to even be able to have the luxury of writing as if life wasn't mine. To be a spectator is a luxury. Somehow. At least with the serenity I feel now, it is a luxury. I just wish i could write better tho', just like as a real author.. I imagine it to be quite cool. Quite a nifty idea, to be an author like Virgina Woolf or Paulo Coelho. It must be exciting to live in a make-believe world.. But come to think of it, I already am living in my own world. Everything is so real in my head. I just wish I could find someone as "surreal" as me (at least at this point of time, I think I am..)

Disappointments and Comparisons

Pastor says, we get disappointed because of what we expect to see. And not because of what we see. I guess that happens to me quite a lot.
Like, I would compare the responses of others to mine. Like what I would've done, given the same scenario. And when I feel I would have 'performed' better than them, I get disappointed. Or when, I compare what somebody else (of a similar capacity) would've have done in their case, and has done it better, I get disappointed.
But the thing is, why should i?
Shouldn't every individual be special and each circumstance unique in its own way? Why do we tend to compare?
What do comparisons do?
Comparisons make good references.
But what good is a comparison when it leads us neither to any references nor insights to the certain individual? Remember, each is unique. When you compare a person to another, you bring no value-add to him or her. So what if he or she is better/ poorer? We are not racing to break each others' records, only walking in our own pace, in life's journey (Some walk faster, others, slower. Nonetheless, its not a competition).
i learn:
Don't put anyone into a contest he or she never entered for.